Whale Likes To Party!

Whale has just had ten cups of Nespresso and is relaxing with the day’s newspaper, waiting for the lunch break to be over, so that he can get back to work, on his desk.
Whale:Child abuse scandals!…Feminists talking about shaving crotch!…Someone sticking up for heels at Cannes!…Funny looking guy on a Eurovision photo!…Oh dear! Another Bank Holiday strike!
Coworker 1: Yo Whale!
Whale: Yo! How was lunch?
Coworker 1: It was good. We missed you. They had mashed potatoes and ham, on today.
Whale: YUCK! Didn’t miss a thing then!
Coworker 1: Yeah! Susie just told me about a housewarming party Sally is havin’! Will you be there?
Whale: Who is Sally?
Coworker 1: The lady sitting right opposite to ya!
Whale: (looks up from his newspaper copy)Ohhhhhh! I wasn’t invited!
Coworker 1: Oh that’s a shame! Do you want me to go ask her if it’s okay for you to come along?
Whale: Nah, I’m good! I don’t know so many people yet, so it would get boring after a fair few drinks, for me. No one to talk to in a tipsy state.
Coworker 1: Yeah! (starts to type on his PC)
Whale: How long have you known Sally?
Coworker 1: Since two years! We were going out until just a few days back!
Whale: Oh you sly dog! (slaps him in the back)
Coworker 1: Oh it wasn’t like that! I was madly in love with her but then she cheated on me! Never got over it!
Whale: Oh!…So why are you going to her housewarming party?
Coworker 1: (shrugs) Free beer!
Whale: Free beer from a woman who cheated on you?
Coworker 1: Yup!
Whale: Are you that desperate for a night out, mate?
Coworker 1: I’m not! I just think it would be a night of laughs!
Whale: In the house of the woman who cheated on you?
Coworker 1: Yeah, I think I’ll invite Boss to it.
Whale:…….(shouts) YO SALLY!!! How have you been doing?
Sally looks up at Whale, puzzled, in the middle of reading Star magazine.
Sally: Are you alright?
Whale: Yes!
Sally: Okay (smiles and gets back to reading her magazine)
Whale looks at Tim (Coworker 1) and gruffs.

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Whale & Bart Talk Coffee Beans

Whale is busy daydreaming at the office, today. He needs to finish some paperwork before heading for lunch with his coworkers but can’t find it in him to concentrate first.
Whale: (sighs)…..Oh Good Morning Boss!
Bart: Oh hey! Morning! (gets a Nespresso from the coffee machine)
Whale: Your drinking a lot of coffee today, I just noticed.
Bart: Yes, I’ve been up since last night. I had three boardmeetings today + looking through plenty of scripts. They must be completed before the week is over, and there’s just too much…lunch is on in like fifteen minutes!
Whale: Oh wow!….Have you seen the latest teaser trailer of the Steve Jobs movie?
Bart: No! But if it’s any good, we probably have to cover the book on it. We always get swamped with the blockbuster stories!
Whale: I saw it just yesterday evening on E4. Jobs looks like he went mental when he took a look at iPod for the first time.
Bart:………….Huh?
Whale: That’s what the trailer looks like.
Bart: You mean the one where he looks like Santa Claus is releasing the iPod?
Whale: No, no that was the other Jobs film. This has Fassbender in it.
Bart: OH right! Yeah, no I haven’t seen that yet. I’ll stick to my story…why is it that bad?
Whale:…………I don’t know yet if it is that bad but his intense eyes did tempt me into want to check out the film.
Bart:………………….is he paralysed on stage in the film?
Whale: No, no he is totally fine. He’s just really, really excited….
Bart:…..like, super-excited..
Whale:…..yes, he is, to see what his intelligence can do!
Bart: Haha! Wow! I just lost 3 minutes that I could have spent proofreading. Better get some coffee, you don’t get a lunch break now! (walks off with the Nespresso)
Whale:………………………………Boss!

Whale, Jack & Coronation Street

Whale and Jack are spending a lazy weekday, catching up with each other over cups of coffee and endless episodes of Coronation Street.
Whale: Did you use to smoke as a kid?
Jack: No! Never tried it out!
Whale: Me neither. I have been hearing about these cases that are happening of late, about the smokers dying of lung cancer.
Jack: (laughs) That’s always been there silly!
Whale: Yes, but why are they talking of that now, all of a sudden?
Jack: Beats me! Maybe they always do! Maybe you just chanced upon it now!
Whale: Oh I don’t think they do! Amanda and I were out last night on a movie date – we went to watch the latest Avengers. And she told me about this over-advertising and how she found that story so interesting.
Jack: How was the movie?
Whale: It was great. So many superheroes in one film. I guess it took care of my wish to see all the Marvel superheroes appear on the big-screen in my lifetime, really well!
Jack: Haha! What did you do on the date?
Whale: Oh! Nothing much! I ordered some popcorn. Amanda was on a diet so ate some of my popcorn. I had to get up in the middle of the movie to go and get me some more.
Jack: Oh! Then what did you do afterwards?
Whale: Later, we kissed each other goodnight and I walked back home. The night was a pretty shade of blue and punctuated with stars – I felt so creative, I got back home and did some work.
Jack: Oh! What did you work on?
Whale: I proofread the Preface to a new paperback edition of Fanny Hill.

Whale Likes Farmyard Animals

Whale is on a mission to get the perfect illustrated jacket for a children’s book on the works of Roald Dahl. The illustrations are by Quentin Blake but he is very confused which to go with, so meets up with his boss, Bart.

Whale & Bart Talk BFG

Whale has so much work today. It is a Saturday but by midnight tonight he has to approve of the jacket of his latest assignment – an abridged edition of collected stories from Roald Dahl, illustrated by Quentin Blake. But first he must meet his boss and discuss the options for artwork.
Whale: (knocks on the door)*clears throat! Boss!………..Miss Bart?
Boss:(muffled voice)Yes, come in.
Whale: Good morning, Boss! I wanted to discuss about the jacket artwork by Quentin Blake we have to do for the Roald Dahl book for next week.
Boss: Oh yeah! Please have a seat! What have you thought of so far?
Whale: I thought that it would be nice to go with the illustration of some farmyard animals having the time of their lives on the front flap of the jacket,amd then the picture zooms in on a handful of those animals on the back side of the flap jacket.
Boss: Farmyard animals? Why farmyard animals? This is a collector’s edition of stories of the Giant.
Whale: Yes, but I was wondering if it would be possible to be more imaginative. I could also paint it green. Make the book look all inviting and rich and then place the farm animals, all illustrated, on it.
Boss: You are supposed to make it interesting to children. We want kids to buy the book, not think it is serious reading, and be impressed.
Whale: But Miss Bart, I am worried that if I put too much cartoons on the jacket it will look too silly and more like a puzzle game. How many kids love Giant as much as adults do?
Boss: I feel it should be aimed at children. What do you think they would find interesting on the jacket?
Whale: Farmyard animals!!! Oh and an egg with eyes and two chicken feet!
Boss: I think maybe play it safe and put an illustration of the BFG on both of the flaps, the same one, facing each other, on two seperate flaps and use an attractive colour as the background.
Whale: But Miss Bart! Kids like eggs!
Boss: Okay! Then put a talking egg at the top, near the text.
Whale: Oh! That’s brilliant! I will just go and do a copy-in for you and then fax you it!
Boss: Sure!
Whale: (hops around like a rabbit to the door) Miss Bart! What about the farmyard animals?
Boss: Get out!
Whale: Okay!
….

Whale Is On A Blind Date

Whale has been set up on a blind date with a mate’s mate. Her name is Amanda and she loves to read books a lot. On the blind date, Whale has decided to have a movie screening of an adaptation of one of her favourite novels, Romeo and Juliet, at his place. The two are sitting on the couch and learning more about each other.
Whale: (silence)…Did you enjoy the roast duck and vegetables I made?
Amanda:*blushes Yes, it was delicious. (silence) Do you have to be in at work early tomorrow?
Whale: No, I don’t. My boss is pretty understanding, given that it is a Saturday. The publishing date of the book I am working on has been pushed to next week, so there’s time to catch up.
Amanda: That’s brilliant! (silence) Should we watch the film together, now? I actually cannot wait.
Whale: OH YES! Me too! I haven’t seen this film in years!
Amanda: Is it the one with Claire Danes on it?
Whale: No, this is the 1936 film. It’s a real classic. My boss adores it. She has a huge vintage poster of it, stuck on this wooden board on her office wall. Everytime I go to visit her, I confuse it with the movie poster of King Kong. The technicolour can be so confusing sometimes.
Amanda: Oh! Wow!….So, how has it been like working under her, so far?
Whale: It has been fun. I have only seen her 6 times in two days, since I joined.
Anamda: (laughs) I have never watched this film. Does it stay true to the story? (knocks her glassed off accidentally and it falls off the couch and breaks) OH NO!!!
Whale: (Shoving the tape into the Blu-Ray player) Don’t worry! The New York Times can be reliable sometimes too!
Amanda: No, it’s not that! My glasses just fell off and I can’t see a thing but I think I heard something sounding like glass break!
Whale: Oh!!! Where did they fall?
Amanda:….I don’t know. I think right infront of the couch.
Whale: Okay! Let me get them for you! (scrambles looking for the glasses) I cannot find them. I will look under the couch.
Amanda: Okay! Thank you so much! (shuffles her dress)
Whale: Can’t find them! I will just go and look for them behind the couch now!…………UH-OH!
Amanda: What’s the matter?
Whale:…….I put on some holiday weight this Christmas, which I’m yet to get rid of.
Amanda: Yeah? Are you feeling uncomfortable from eating too much at dinner, for it, perhaps?
Whale: No, I think I have gotten stuck under the couch!