Cow & Alexander

Cow gets a visit from Alexander and the two bicker about the latter’s kingdom

Alexander, also known formally as “Alexander XIV The Mighty Lion”, is a friend of Cow. Cow and Alexander have a bittersweet friendship – the two rulers have fought many hard battles against each other over their respective regions and in many parts of the world, Alexander is considered to be a superior king than Cow, primarily because he has ruled so many Arab states, for decades, when Cow has only ruled the major one in Egypt. Alexander’s worst enemies, however, are no different than Cow’s; all of Alexander’s rivals are corrupted and like Cow (who only keeps losing money to his rivals) he keeps losing to his rivals. Alexander has come for a brief visit to Cow’s kingdom…
Cow: I am so happy to see you, Alexander. I haven’t heard from you for a very long time. Why is that?
Alexander (ignoring him): Cow!!! What is this I hear? You have a new adviser but you will not introduce the two of us to each other?
Cow: I shall do what I please in my kingdom!
Alexander: Is that any way to treat your friend?
Cow: I am treating you far better than how you treat your people!
Alexander: My…my people? My kingdom is built out of force, not on my people, or for my people…if I had any!
Cow: What? You invaded your town from the inside?
Alexander: No, you idiot!!! I rule because I am the mightiest! Now, where is this adviser of yours? Be quick!

Cow rushes to get Noir…

Cow introduces Noir and Alexander to each other, and Alexander takes an instant liking to Cow’s new adviser. Alexander has been one of those kings who has never been popular amongst his royal subjects because of a thorough deficiency in fine diplomatic skills; Noir, a polar opposite, despite being an adviser to the monarch, not the monarch, has always enjoyed widespread popularity in Cow’s kingdom. Alexander was only seventeen when he realised that he will be a ruler of mammoth proportions because of his hard work and his thunderous approach to eliminating all local rivals, by all means. Hated by local contemporaries he could never win over, foreign rulers (who desperately wish to be him but never admit it out loud) and his royal subjects, Alexander is still one of the greatest rulers in the Arab world.
Noir: I am pleased to know that your kingdom has been flourishing off-late.
Alexander: Yes, it has been! I think it was…all because the seasons have been kind to us, for a change! My royal subjects have already gathered all of the harvest and now it is busy hitting the farmer’s markets, in a more regular manner.
Noir: Is the local rivalry getting too much?
Alexander: It’s nothing I cannot handle! I have a lot of troubles there within my own kingdom, actually. Too many people want to have everything in a different way from me.
Noir: I have heard they care too much and forget they are rulers talking to their royal subjects! I would have never been able to tolerate such an attitude towards class divides, here in Egypt.
Alexander: That is nothing! Yesterday wearing ‘the emperor’s robes’, I was out for a visit to the countryside to see how my subjects are doing and when I was there I found all the villagers dressed in my spare robes, given to them by my kingdom’s adviser because he found it too difficult to take the villagers are poorer than him and me.


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