The Secret Love Stories off Fan Girls

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A lot of women find the idea of fan girls terrifying. Most Hollywood stars have perfectly ordinary marriages. It is quite rare to see a celebrity couple, in the glare of spotlights, last for long. A couple do, but that is a really rare concept of love that you would be aiming for. It is hard enough for relationships to survive scares, as stories of your boss sleeping with his secretary, surfaces on a dreary Monday morning, and then to turn to Hollywood and see the picture no different.

This is after you met your boss’s wife at the office Christmas Party last year, and thought she was perfectly lovely – maybe more homely and all about her family, kids and her aspirations in life, over feminist causes, but still really lovely. She was most definitely not the “leather skirt wearing vixen”, that sits opposite to you and smiles preoccupied about the latest ring, your boss gave her, and then tends to paperwork duty you have given her to take care of, with yet another flash of smile.

I do enjoy her skirt more than her but it’s hard to sympathize with the notion of adultery: you have a perfectly good thing going with your wife, and then you cheat on her, rather than be a man, and break up with her. It would have been far less humiliating for the woman, if you could have left her some room to exit the relationship, in a dignified state, but you could not bring yourself to do so. You were in that relationship, you took responsibility for it, you can’t expect to be immune from criticism if you don’t act responsibly, when the magic between you and your wife has faded out.

And why is that so? The lack of responsibility? Speaking of adultery, that brings me back to the idea of: fan girls. When you are a pop star or a Hollywood actor, you often have thousands of women, swoon over you. It is more so for men, than for women, really because let’s face it: women are the ones who desperately want to get married, not men. Men just like to have pin-up girls around, to indulge in some kind of stories, fantasies and cultures, other than their really hard-slogging days at work.

They are not the pitfalls of every relationship, unless you decided to be with a guy who is exactly opposite from who you want to be in life, but that is rarely the norm. Fan-girl behaviour, on certain days, seems almost unavoidable: girls with an appetite for sexual activity, that is hardly ever appeased, satisfactorily, will do it. They will look at your friend, the kid you grew up with, who you helped get through tough times in life, such as running for cover in farms, for picking apples, when you shouldn’t, imparting wisdom on how to remain more committed to his ambitions in life, trying to find ways to see together how to ace school (or even an apprenticeship, if that’s what floats your boat, mate!), how to prepare for the first date, with a girl he has had a crush on for a good couple of weeks now, and lust after him, from afar.

They will look at your pop-idol, or the actor you grew up thinking was something like a peer to you because of everything he taught you in life, and want him sexually. How do you not get irked by sentiments like that? I do think that romance in life is important, if you are the kind, who wants it in your life. But this isn’t romance. This is, more like, hovering around maybe even a potential mate in the future, and being unable to express yourself, that you want him.

He doesn’t know it, because he doesn’t know women – he knows enough, to get by, but he isn’t fluent in it – that is why, the boys are so endearing, to me. Because they come like that, all loopsided and totally clueless about women, but still interested in having different kinds of experiences in life. But I can see it. I can sniff that these obese women are so interested in the guys.

So, my attitude to it all in my head has always been, something along the lines of “You know, this lady or that lady so wants to go out with Leonardo DiCaprio or Ryan Reynolds! They are like fish out of water, around him!”  I do have fun caricaturing those episodes, sometimes because that is how these girls behave…often. Most women do not have the guts to earn the label of a “homewrecker” because face it: who wants to be that sexy popular kitten, that always gets what she wants? Sometimes women chase men they previously dated because they are unable to get over him and there is nothing wrong with that. Women often need help, for a long time, to get closure to a relationship.

But some women are insistent that they belong with a guy because of his status, his looks, his money and his lifestyle. So, what would you have to say to that? I would think that this kind of superficial romance is what often fills up celebrity gossip pages, that can be nauseating to the public. I do peer over it, very rarely, but that is not a definition of a relationship, I believe. It’s not a publicity stunt, no. I have actually never heard of any of that in Hollywood, but it is a sort of a life you aim to flaunt.

Do I think it is shallow? Maybe. But that depends on whether or not, you get any fulfillment out of it. It’s hard to imagine, that game can be kept up for a very long time, because you don’t get a lot out of it, apart from earning a name on society pages, which is if you are strong-headed enough to aim for, then I wouldn’t be the one to be judgemental about it, no!

But fan girls: why do you want to lust after a guy you have never met? Barely met? Don’t know much about, upon first sight, even though that first sight, gave you love? Why so much enchantment, with an ordinary bloke, you have never even got the chance to be close to? Why would you want to be close to that fish, when there are so many fishes like that in the pond? Why that random sexy shark, particularly?

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